Why I Take a Vacation AWAY from My Family Every Year
For the past 8 years or so (except for 2020 - you know why), I have made it a priority to take a vacation away from my family. It is not because I don't love them or that I don't love being a wife and a mom, it's just that I need to take some time to remember who I am without them.
I Deserve a Break
One of the things that happens when you commit yourself to being a good partner and a good parent is that unintentionally you may devote a little less time to being the best you. Every moment is often filled with work and life tasks, scheduling and appoinments, and eventually it can become too much. Too many times in the day I spend the bulk of my efforts doing things to make the lives of the other people in my life better and easier. I need, no, I DESERVE a break to reset and recharge. For me, that break is in the form of a vacation - preferably somewhere warm with my friends. One of the bonuses that comes from this "break" and vacation is that my family appreciates me more.
It is Important to Recharge and Reconnect
According to Motherly’s 2021 State of Motherhood survey, no disrespect to many fathers who leaned into the role, but In most households, fathers maintained their sanity and privacy by for example. winning the more private office space during "year at home". At the same time, mothers completed what they could of their work tasks while simultaneously attending to three meal times per day, boredom in between screen time, homeschooling and virtual schooling their children, and attempting to take care of themselves and maintain their romantic relationships. The pandemic revealed that women felt unseen, unheard, and unappreciated in their roles as caregiving leaders in their households and their workspaces. What resulted is most moms reported and admitted to occasionally feeling burnout. What is burnout you ask, its when you:
Feel persistent, disruptive, and overwhelming exhaustion as a parent;
Compare yourself with a previous and better self-as-parent (feeling shame and guilt about how one used to parent)
Feel as though you can no longer stand parenting and have had enough of it.
Emotionally distance yourself from children and you find yourself doing the bare minimum to get a task done.
Vacation is Something to Look Forward To
I've been there. I am a working professional, a wife and a mom with two busy and active daughters. I now know, that form of momentary "self-care" the media pushes on us is not enough. It shows me that I need to step way, take a break, go on vacation. A change of scenery will help change the tone. They say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I need to be absent and MISS my life. Bonus is they will miss me too and at least for a little while be a little more appreciative. Get you a vacation on your calendar ASAP. It will give you the motivation to push through knowing a break is just around the corner.
You Should Take a Vacation Away from Your Family Too
As you have probably deduced by now I am a big supporter of a vacation away from my family. A vacation away from my family has allowed me to be a little selfish and given me a chance to indulge in the little luxuries I usually deny myself like creating art, enjoying yet another glass of wine and reading for exptended periods. It has done wonders for my peace of mind and I would like to convince you to take a vacation away from your family too. This year me and two of my friends spent 4 days in sunny Puerto Rico.
I won't be naive and tell you to book a flight and accommodations because that is not necessarily an option for everyone. You can however take a short drive, get a hotel in a city nearby, stay with an old friend for a few days. For me 3 to 5 days is enough but you may need more. I don't recommend anything less than three days. There are many ways to make this an affordable option for you because a break should be a priority for you. You can pay the cost for a room or the cost for a treatment center or divorce when your life perhaps becomes unbearable or you are pushed to a breaking point. Whew! That took a dark turn but know that if you don't put your mental welfare on the radar and on the top of the to-do list that fate may be waiting.
Do you think a vacation away from your family is a good idea?
